Self care is about self compassion which is the ground, the very foundation of the spiritual path. In Tibetan Buddhism the spiritual path is described as having three principle aspects. Traditionally the three principle aspects of the path are renunciation, compassion and emptiness. However, another way to describe these aspects are self compassion, compassion for others and dissolving.
Renunciation has a lot of connotations and may not be the most useful way to describe the first principle aspect for westerners. Basically, renouncing is about letting go of our typical approach to working with ourselves. Our typical approach is to grasp on to what we want, push away what we don’t want and ignore the rest. This approach is always a losing strategy because we will never be satisfied.
A gentler and kinder approach is to learn to be present with an open heart and this starts with self compassion. Self compassion and self care is not about self indulgence. Self care is being aware and open to what you are experiencing and using wisdom to work with that.
Self care in traditional Tibetan medicine focuses on balance. Dr. Nida likes to describe this balance as an equilateral triangle with each side being one of body, energy and mind. If one is too focussed on one side, the triangle becomes unbalanced and unequal.
Here are six activities, adapted from traditional Tibetan Medicine, that you can use to be kinder to yourself and help balance your life:
1. Move your body - Moving your body in a safe way can help you improve your physical condition. Movement can also be energizing and can release stress and improve your mood. If you have limited mobility there are many ways to get exercise. For example, chair yoga or chair qigong can be a gentle and safe form of exercise. Both yoga and qigong can be done lying down, in a chair or standing.
A simplified Tibetan Yoga movement is to just gently stretch and move in whatever way you can. Deep breath into each movement to help it loosen your body. Move one body part at a time. Take your time and be mindful and present to each movement.
2. Get outside – there is plenty of research to show how getting out in nature improves health, sleep and mood. Try to get to a wild place or park with lots of nature around. Even a place with a tree or grass can work. If you can’t get outside, even looking out the window can help.
Here is a simplified Tibetan meditation to help connect with nature and extract the benefit and energy while there. If you can see and feel the sun; take a moment to absorb its warmth and rays of light. If you feel wind or a breeze; feel it on your face and body. If you can sit or feel your feet on the earth; feel its solidity and strength. If you can see water; pause to feel its beauty and flow. Absorb all these energies. Take time with each part.
3. Sleep well – try to make sure you get a good sleep. According to Dr. Nida, sleep is the first and best rejuvenation technique.
You can practice good sleep hygiene by going to bed and waking up at the same time every day. Other tips are to only use your bedroom for sleeping, and don’t use devices like phones, computers and tablets before going to bed. Have nightly rituals that prepare yourself for sleep, like washing up or brushing your teeth. A nice relaxation ritual before going to bed is to reflect on what you were grateful for that day.
4. Breath – deep breathing energizes the body and clears the mind. Deep breathing stimulates the vagus nerve and engages the parasympathetic nervous systems. This leads to a more relaxed and calm state.
Tibetan Self Healing Yoga (Nejang) uses a very special breathing technique. Take a deep breath into the belly and lightly pull up on the anus. Hold the breath for a short time and then breathe out quickly but only release one third of the breath. Repeat at least three times.
Prana, Chi or subtle wind energy rides the breath. You retain the subtle wind energy and release the grossest wind with this special breathing technique.
5. Connect with Others – some people are more social than others but we all need some social contact. It will make our lives fuller and brighter. There are many ways to do this both in person and online. If you do online socializing, take time to have at least some in-person contact.
One way to do this online is with a healing circle of people with similar issues. Try checking out this Healing Circle here. Other online communities can be found here.
6. Meditate – according to The Four Medical Tantras of Tibet, the ultimate cause of illness is the three mental poisons. This is why meditation is so important. To get an overview of Tibetan healing meditations check out Tibetan Healing Meditation 101 blog here.
There has also been significant development of Buddhist based self compassion meditations by teachers, researchers and authors.
Check out these free guided self compassion meditations:
Self care is not just a way to take care of yourself. It can also be a spiritual practice that leads you to a deeper place.
“[compassion] is the state of wishing that the object of our compassion be free of suffering….yourself first, and then in a more advanced way the aspiration will embrace others” - His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Self compassion leads to compassion for others and from there even deeper to the luminous space.
“Voidness being the womb of compassion” - Robert Thurman
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