I noticed that my friends and acquaintances tended to have one of three approaches to living their lives.
The “have” people, wanted to have things. They searched for their happiness in having things. Once they got what they wanted, they enjoyed it for awhile. Then they were on the hunt for something new to have.
This constant hunt for new things happens for a couple of reasons. Foremost, it happens because they think what they want, will make them happy. Often its does make them happy. But only for a time. Then it’s on to the next new thing. So that’s the second reason people adopt this approach to life; because it brings a fleeting happiness.
They then begin to think this is what happiness is. Fleeting moments of enjoying whatever is “Mine”. But then it gets broken, worn out stolen or lost. We know that can happen so we add on a layer of worry about whatever it is.
The third reason people take this approach is because once you start, you can’t stop. It becomes our habit, our approach, the way we do life. Always going from one new thing to another. Its an addictive habit. The hunt for that fleeting moment of happiness.
You can always tell a having person because they never stop talking about what they have.
Doing people like to do things. They are collectors of life experiences. They go from one experience to another. They see life as a series of experiences. This is a slightly more sophisticated approach than having. Because life is indeed a series of experiences. In fact, we are the universe experiencing itself as a person.
The problem with doing people is that they try too hard. That is, they think more doing is better. They collect “doings”. They don’t realize that just existing is doing. They miss the fact that it doesn’t matter what you do; you are always doing.
None the less, doing people need to do special things, not just anything. It has to be a doing that they see as important, as life affirming. With doing people we think of those people that sky dive in the morning and hike a volcano in the afternoon. But doing people can have a list of doing that includes lots of different things. It could be building things in the back yard, or cleaning house or working out.
Doing people tend always be on the hunt for the next doing. Many times they spend their doing time thinking about what the next doing will be. They actually aren’t a lot less different than having people because they want to have “doings”.
You can always tell doing people because they never stop talking about what they do.
Then there are “being” people. These are people that just be. These are people that live in the present moment. They are present to was is happening right now. They are curious people that allow whatever life brings to arise. They like to see it, taste it, smell it and feel it. They feel alive because they are right there in the experience. Being people are open, accepting and loving beings. They have a natural inner, deeper connection to them Selves and the universe and to all the other beings in the universe.
There are very few Being people in the world, because most of us get lost in our thoughts. We get lost in thoughts about the future or ruminate on the past. We are always trying to avoid what we don’t want and get what we want.
None the less, there are many people that see that being is much more satisfying than having or doing. They explore being. They experiment with being. They see a truth but can’t quite grasp it. They are close but also far.
They see all the mental noise getting in their way. It keeps them from being. They can see that but can’t seem to get rid of the noise. They get distracted sometimes but always come back to try to be, not realizing that more trying makes it harder to be.
Being is a letting go not a trying.
Slowly the striving being people get more and more glimpses. They begin to see what they do everyday often gets in their way. They see what helps them connect to being. Sometimes it’s being still or silent. Listening to the silence. Feeling the stillness. Hearing the silence behind the noise. Feeling the stillness behind the movement. Sensing the space, the emptiness within everything.
What kind of person are you? If you’re reading this, chances are you are getting glimpses of being. But like most of us, you also have periods of having and doing. Getting momentary happiness where we can.
Don’t be discouraged. Keep trying at being until you can just be. That is lasting happiness.
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