“In spiritual work there are only 2 rules: awareness and kindness” – Ngakpa Chögyam
What is so remarkable about this quote is how Ngakpa Chögyam encapsulates the entire path into two words; awareness and kindness. These are the only things you really have to keep in mind as you do your spiritual work. It doesn’t even matter what that spiritual work is, as long as you do it with awareness and kindness.
Some spiritual work makes it easier for us to maintain awareness and kindness. What works for you depends on our own individual situation and resonances. This is why there are so many spiritual paths.
When you start out on the spiritual journey, it’s best to choose a path that most easily allows you to practice awareness and kindness. Then, over time as you develop your ability, you can expand your spiritual practice. But in the end it is always about awareness and kindness.
Kindness in this quote not only means kindness to others but also kindness towards yourself. Here I am talking about genuine kindness. I am not talking about indulgence where you might say I want ice cream, therefore I will be kind to myself and buy an ice cream. That’s not self-kindness.
Here, we are talking about genuine kindness that allows ourselves a gentle opening to what life brings our way. To recognize that we may be swept away by anger, or sadness at times and that is okay. We recognize that this human form is subject to difficulties, pain and problems. We see that pain, we are aware and we give ourselves a break for being human.
We can go deeper yet. To further contemplate these words, you realize that these rules are not only good advice for spiritual practice but good advice for life itself. Is there any situation in life where it isn’t appropriate to have awareness and kindness?
Take the simple act of eating a bowl of cereal. With awareness, we eat to nourish our bodies. With awareness we eat until we have had enough, until we are full. Then we stop. That is genuine kindness.
If we apply these rules in everything we do, everything we do becomes spiritual practice.
When we use the toilet, use it with awareness and kindness. When you see someone on the street, greet them awareness and kindness. When you look at your phone, look with kindness and awareness. That will be true healing.
When you drive to the grocery store, drive with kindness and awareness. This kind of driving is kindness for yourself. Also it is kindness for others who are there on the street while you’re driving.
This type of kindness and awareness works at many levels. If you’re driving to the store, you need to be aware of other cars, and people crossing the street. It’s only safe to do so. That’s kindness not only for yourself but for others.
There’s a deeper level here too. Being aware means you’re in the present moment. Being in the present moment means you’re not ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. That is genuine self-kindness. It also means you’re not spilling your neurosis onto others. That’s true kindness to others. That’s the greatest kindness we can give to others.
For those of us with chronic illness, pain or disability, there is a genuine and deep opportunity for practice. When you feel physical pain, or the discomfort of an illness be aware and be kind.
Usually with pain and discomfort we immediately try to get rid of it. Maybe we try to ignore it. We want it to go away. When it doesn’t go away, we feel angry, irritated or maybe sad and depressed.
Instead of our usual resistance, we can use awareness and kindness. We become aware of what we feel in our bodies. When you notice it doesn’t feel good, be kind. If you met a child in pain, how would you treat it? With kindness? Of course with kindness. So why not with yourself?
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